Monday, July 18, 2016

July Update: Bedridden.

It's the word I use when people ask me how I've been. I've been M.I.A from writing here because I have been really distraught. However, if you are interested in my whereabouts, feel free to follow me on my other social medias, I'm quite active there.

Where do I even begin telling you about the past month...

I was visited by an old friend. It comes quite often and I always welcome it because the presence comforts me. I kept myself in my room, I never have the mood to go out. Although it's raya, it's also the first time I didn't feel like seeing any of my relatives. I loved going back kampung to see my grandparents, but with the state I'm in, I'm not excited for anything at all.

The past month has just been horrific. Despite the fact that I tried surrounding myself with my high school friends, I always come back to this sorrow feeling. For those of you who don't know (or read my Tweets lol), two words: College. Drama.

People just never learn to grow up, do they?

Anyway, because of that I've been demotivated to go to classes. Stayed home. Slept a lot. Cried a lot. Been anxious a lot. I didn't go to classes for three weeks because of this. That's how much I cared. However, today I did built up ALL of my courage and will to go to class. I needed to get things settled before I go for Hajj. I still felt anxious today, but I talked to other relevant people and I felt a whole lot better. I talked to my H.O.D as well and told him I made the decision to take a break, he was very supportive, Alhamdulillah.

On the other hand, I try to see the good in other things. The Fam has been giving me a lot of love, my brothers have been supportive, the No Chill gang has been no chill as usual and cheered me up without trying. Truly grateful for all of these people in my life, and if other people can't see the best in me, to hell with it. All I'm doing now is looking forward to the next month.

Other than my mood of despair, I'm slowly trying to get better. This storm come and goes, but I always look past it eventually, insyaAllah.

I'd like to say thank you to all those who wished me well and those who sent me cute messages and notes. I really appreciate it and I can't describe how grateful I am.

Until then, lots of love. Xx